This is what happened:

Having arrived at the base of Wendelstein, I journeyed on foot through the conifers and meadows until I came upon an area of cliffs and large rocks, this area being the general location of the secret cave in which slumbers the large weasel-like creature, the GREAT BALTAWANA, our amalgamated ancestors, or, as often believed, our more remote common ancestor. Coming upon the cave’s entrance, I went into the GREAT ONE’S sanctum, and there shouted our fearfully this question, “What thing or things matter to all BALTA?”

Thereupon, BALTAWANA stirred and grunted loudly, which did cause a great cloud of foul-smelling dust to issue forth from beneath our large and beloved SLUMBERING MUSTELINE. I took this response to be a sign of consciousness, a sign that BALTAWANA had awareness. And one cannot be aware without being aware of something. However, OUR ANCESTRAL BEING said nothing more. A final leg twitch accompanied with a monstrous belch let loose an avalanche of gravel amid intoxicating yet odorous fumes.

I turned from the cave and fled down-slope in heart-pounding terror All the while I wondered as to the meaning of the GREAT ONE’S grunt. Descending rapidly a slope of talus-scree my booted foot did boot loose a jar that my consciousness perceived in a state of high awareness. I reached down and did pick up that jar. I did loosen the lid, which I then removed. The jar contained a message.

This is what the message says: “A construction par excellence, BALTA consists in what gets made of it – be it but one thing or all that it is taken to be – and BALTA’S disembodied voices, inherent yet inaudible, are but the voices of BALTANS speaking silently to themselves. However, on certain occasions, BALTAN voices become quite loud and audible when BALTANS speak to one another.”

Holding this mysterious message in my trembling hands I wondered as to its source. Who could have written this; perhaps, the GREAT BALTAWANA? Or did it issue from the evil mind of the IMPOSTER? Then I became aware that a sweet smell did emanate from within the jar!

I, Mad Dog, Shaman of BALTA, do hereby testify as to the validity of this report of July 28, 2009



  1. Sman Says:


Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: