Straight Man’s Red Bag

Straight Man (AKA Michael Gleason) asks that the attached be posted to the BALTA Blog


Contents of Straight Man’s Red Bag

On evening of Friday, August 13, 2010, in Silver City, NM, I, Maddog, was passed a red bag from Straight Man. The red bag contained the following items:

One bag of 100 cut lavender heads

One yellow plastic glass with blue lettering and admissions number 800-872-9668 for Western New Mexico University

Three blank sheets from a Travelodge notepad. Information in dark blue lettering: Recreate. Hibernate. For reservations call 800-578-7878

One notepad from Mimbres Valley Learning Center containing 24 blank sheets. Information in green lettering: Mimbres Valley Learning Center, an Educational and Vocational Center for Luna County. (575) 546-6556 2300 E. Pine, Deming, NM

One dark green ballpoint pen from Mimbres Valley Learning Center. Logo and information of previous item in white lettering

One white tea bag of Lipton 100% Natural Tea. Lettering is in red on white or yellow backgrounds

One 288-page red, white, and blue guide to Bavaria and the Austrian Tyrol. Gregston, Brent. Bavaria and the Austrian Tyrol: Your Guide to Great Drives. Second Edition. Peterborough, UK: Thomas Cook Publishing, 2003; ISBN 1-841573-32-9

Condition: Very Fine

One 120-page multicolored Gourmet’s Guide to Herbs & Spices. Trewby, Mary. A Gourmet’s Guide to Herbs & Spices. Photographs by David Johnson. Los Angeles: HPBooks, 1989; ISBN 0-89586-813-X

Condition: Front cover delicately gnawed on outside edge, otherwise Fine

One dark blue bumper sticker with white lettering by Friends Committee on National Legislation and reading: WAR is NOT the ANSWER.

One new clear plastic 6” x 5” Ziploc bag

One silver, red, black, and white sticker for placing on an RV and reading: Official Member Good Sam Club. Logo of smiling man with halo

One Bierdeckel with dark blue printing for Brauerei Schlössle in Offenhausen (Mittelfranken, Bayern)

One black and multicolored business card for Travel Alberta Canada. 1.800.ALBERTA

One red, white, blue and turquoise campaign card for Jerry Ortiz y Pino, Friend of New Mexico families, Democrat for Lieutenant Governor

One light tan wooden clothespin

One multicolored Bazooka Joe and his Gang bubblegum wrapper cartoon

One pink, blank, and unlined 3 x 5 card

One sheet of blank notepad from Casino Aztar 1-800-DIALFUN in red & black lettering

One sheet of  blank notepad from Ramada Express Hotel & Casino, Laughlin, NV 1-800-2-Ramada in red & black lettering

One red, white, & green Peppermint Altoids can for The Original Celebrated Curiously Strong Mints 100% Natural NetWt 1.76 oz (50g) containing:

(1) One white golf tee

(2) One green tiny plastic cannon

(3) One shiny 2010 D copper penny reading In God We Trust. LIBERTY. United States of America. E Pluribus Unum. ONE CENT

One three-disc DVD Set of 12 Gorehouse Greats Collection. Cult Classics Features which contains:

(1) Blood of Dracula’s Castle; (2) Blood Mania; (3)Brain Twisters; (4) The Devil’s Hand; (5) The Madmen of Mandoras; (6) Nightmare in Wax; (7) Prime Evil; (8) Satan’s Slave; (9) Stanley; (10) Terrified; (11) Terror; (12) Trip with the Teacher


16 Responses to “Straight Man’s Red Bag”

  1. Mysto Says:


    No dwarf’s ears, frog hair or lark tongues??? What kind of mojo bag is this anyway? (the DVD anthology does sound great!)

  2. Maddog Says:

    Some may suspect that the red bag is a red herring, and that the items found therein could be meant to divert and thereby subvert our activities and best intentions.

  3. Sman Says:

    Sometimes a red bag is just a red bag. Or?

  4. Maddog Says:

    It’s raining water. Or?

  5. Fool Says:

    Can lavender heads be dried and smoked like plastic banana skins?

    Maddog used to open tea bags and chew the leaves (aspirin too).

    Does all this mean something? I would prefer that it means nothing.

    Sman made a request. Sman made a comment. This is at least 1000X more words than he has spoken since rejoining Balta. Does THIS mean something?

    Did Sman actually speak to MD. Why don’t we know what was said? Should we know? Do we really want to know??

  6. Sman Says:

    The Fool does not fall far from the cliff.

  7. Maddog Says:

    There is a new photo of md & sman standing next to one another on top of the cliff.

  8. Fool Says:


  9. Maddog Says:

    The Great ZIMBALTA!

  10. Fool Says:

    Not so much a comment to this ride, but the time that The Great ZIMBALTA posted his last comment was 1:09 am on September 4, 2010.

    Know I know that some things are different vis a vis New Mexico and Pennsylvania, but it is still Friday, September 3, 2010 HERE!!

    The answer to my wonderment is that MD is probably on his home planet of Glorbe. Truly.

  11. Maddog Says:

    The Great ZIMBALTA Zeitgeist!

  12. Sman Says:

    Zeitgeist of the Red Bag!

  13. Maddog Says:

    I have seceded from the Union and the Confederacy. I hope Vermont will too. Long live Switzerland! – Maddog’s State of Never Mind

  14. Sman Says:

    Will Mdog take the Red Bag with him?

  15. Maddog Says:

    The Red Bag travels under separate cover.

  16. hotel st-etienne Says:

    hotel st-etienne…

    […]Straight Man’s Red Bag « Bad Aibling Lawn Tennis Association[…]…

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